I wondered what takes place of those comfort objects — blankets, bunnies, bears — as we grow into adulthood. As the image of security blankets tucked away in people’s briefcases dissipated from my mind, I pondered our need as adults to have healthy ways of feeling emotionally secure.
Our insecurities do not magically disappear once we cast aside our childhood comfort object. For children, having a comfort object allows them to test their independence and build their self-confidence. As we go through life, we are presented with situations that can threaten our sense of security. In the absence of any actual threat, however, it is often our own lack of self-confidence and self-worthiness that create feelings of emotional insecurity. These feelings can infest our mind with a false representation of our true nature.
The creator of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programme, Jon Kabat-Zinn, feels “we just need little reminders from time to time that we are already dignified, deserving, worthy.” Although our past wounds and scars can sometimes make it difficult to ‘feel the love’, the following are a few tips that can help one regain their emotional security.
Allow yourself to be you, pure and simple. Trying to mould yourself to what you feel others expect you to be will only cause stress and anxiety as you try to maintain the false illusion.
Let go of perfection. Your push to achieve a certain standard may not be serving you and can result in undue emotional and physical stress.
Expect the Unexpected
When life throws you a curve ball, it is best to step back and look for the opportunity for growth in what has been presented. How we react to life’s challenges can greatly affect our sense of emotional security.
Just as children use comfort objects to help nurture their emotional security, adults can employ a variety of tools to help them do the same. As one author queried, are you a Charlie Brown or a Linus? Given that psychological analysis considers Linus the “brightest” character of the comic strip Peanuts, we might want to tuck that security blanket in our briefcase after all.
Karen Gay, A-Roaming Bodyworker, is a holistic health practitioner practicing in Hanoi. For information on the types of services provided, visit a-roamingbodyworker.com